Overcomer

So yesterday I had to take my gallbladder out. I knew it was something that had to be done due to the symptoms I have been experiencing and with also having a huge gallstone inside of it. As I told a good friend of mine I am in the process of getting rid of things. I got rid of a lot after I asked for the divorce. I let go of many memories to remove them from the environment. I felt that it is best to start over. I also got rid of a lot of pictures we had together and am in the process of healing. Yesterday as I was in the hospital I kept thinking of one of my favorite songs by Mandisa, "Overcomer." In the song the lyrics that stand out to me are: "Cause God is holding you right now/You might be down for a moment." I felt like this tied into a lot of what I experienced over this last year. I was broken in the start of the school year. In July when I was soon about to take my test, I had given my soon to be ex-husband a gift. The gift was a bracelet from a copper store located downtown. There they make unique jewelry. When I gave him the bracelet I still remember writing a letter saying, "I know I am not perfect, but I love you." I was hoping that this bracelet would bring him joy. Instead of a gift back I received a letter saying, "I am sorry I do not love you anymore and I cannot take the gift." I felt broken. I remember feeling all alone and not sure who to call and who would understand? My emotions were deep as we were about to buy a house together and had a one year old...In my mind I was hoping for a much better reaction. God though was with me then and is with me now. You go through these moments of sadness and despair. You think if you are able to do this? But you are. With this whole process, I have been trying my best and hardest to remove things and situations that are unhealthy in my life. It gets tiring when you are hurting. Its tiring when you come home to someone who does not love you. And everyone deserves BETTER. I want to end with some lyrics of Mandias's that says: " You're not going under." :)