Focus on Jesus

It has been several months since I have written. I felt it would be better to write then hold my emotions/feelings in. It seems we are in a time where jobs are changing by limiting the amount of people to work and unfortunately people are having to make choices of looking for new careers or moving. I started a Bible study last month titled, "Speak It Until You See It" in which it involves writing three focused declarations. According to Dr. Ansonya L. Pace-Burke on page thirty three of the book she stated, "It's imperative to be intentional about declaring with your own mouth. You must learn how to speak to your issues and challenges commanding your way to freedom and a life of abundance that God has created you."


The ones I choose for my family and my own life are as follows:

1. I will be loving and nuturing for my family. This brings me to the verse from John 15:12: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." We are so loved by our heavenly father in which He always forgives us from things we could lack or our sins. Also, it is imperative that our kids and in our marriage we demonstrate love in multiple ways such as through words, acts of service/actions, listening, physical touch, and gifts.

2. I walk in God's encouragement in work opportunities for my family. This relates to Philippians 4:12-13: "In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
This is the hardest one for me right now because this past Friday I got my test results to my Diagnostican test and have failed it by three points. This pretty much equals out to one-three questions (for the most part). The test took me FIVE hours to take and it involves 90 multiple choice and one short response. When I had gotten to the testing site, they did not have my accomodations ready such as having a paper based test. Due to having my own learning needs, such as anxiety (Particulary GAD which means Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and having an attention issue I have to sit in a room by myself and do a paper based test with a pencil. After an hour of waiting, I was able to take the test on the computer since my choices were rescheduling it or taking it that day. I did have my pencil and notepaper for taking notes. I tried my best as I went through and marked out the answers to what I felt was wrong. Since I have to write a student report, it takes longer to grade our test. I did well on the writing portion of the test, it was just mostly in Domain I. I have cried a lot on Friday and on Sunday. I cried throughout the whole church service on Sunday. As my husband and I listened to the fill in pastor talk about Ephesians (the summer focus) my eyes were flooding with tears and my heart hurt. After the service with my husband said lets pray together, a random stranger came to talk to me. She tapped my back and said "I am not sure what you are going through, but I am glad you still made it to church today." She told me that she has too felt those same things and she has to remember to focus on Jesus. Through my watery eyes I was trying to see if I knew the lady: maybe she worked at my school or I have seen her around Hutto, but she was someone totally unfamilar. At first it startled me, but then it allowed me to refocus. My passion since I was a young kid has serving those that had different physical and mental learning needs. When I was in elementary school, I had the opportunity to work with students who were hearing imparied. As years passed, I had several occurences where I saw or interacted with different kids who could not speak or communicate throughly. Something that stood out to me is when I was in about middle school/high school my family and I were at a pool and this kid came up to me because they were so intrigued by the colors of my shirt. At the time I was wearing a bright, multicolored shirt with the pictures of the characters of "The Brady Bunch." Yes, lol, that was one of my favorite shows back in the day. The kid's mom apologized to me, but I said that it is fine. I always had a lot of patience and I felt blessed that a kid came up to me and felt comfortable enough to get that close. In my most recent years, I have had the amazing experience of working with ALE with PALS (mentor program I did). I made it a strong purpose to do activities such as crafts, games and other fun activities for students who typically felt left out of the typical setting. As I wait to still reach my goal, I hope to have the opportunity to be part of Special Education.

3. With God's goodness, I stand firm in wanting good health for my overall family. Jermiah 33:6 states, "Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." As I end my writing on this one, health is so important to me. Why do I say this? I had to watch my dad with my own eyes pass away due to a heart condition that affected everything else in his body. Over the summer my aunt passed away unexpectedly at the sixty two. Due to the privacy of my family, I do not want to go into details. This really hit me hard because my aunt was a type of person that was always laughing and was so positive. We spent so much time together when I was a child and I valued the activities (waterparks, sleepovers) that I got a change to do with my cousin as my aunt took us to do these things. It is important to stand up for your family and friends and really help them make better choices in what they put into their bodies and for resting, good mental health, and having a positive outlook.